I Am God's Dagger by K.A. Merikan

#mmromance #darkromance #romantichorror #gayromancereviews

I have to say that this story needs all the warnings. It delves into things such as child torture, child rape, and child murder as well as all the other things mentioned in the blurb, so keep that in mind going in.

Or as Abaddon says of Gabriel - "Cut. Drowned. Burned. Lashed. Raped. The fifth of six innocent sacrifices. Six, three times over."

I will be spoiling this one, so be warned.

I would say that this was in my opinion, a horror romance, heavy on the horror. In this one we have Gabriel, who since he was 12, thought he was insane because his mind had memories in it that everyone in the orphanage said could not be true. In this orphanage, Gabriel is locked away, only allowed to work and never be allowed around the children. His only friend was a cat.

In his mind all of these people hurt him horrifically, so he had to live with them but unable to stop thinking of all the bad stuff. He was told he did all the harm to himself, that it was just his mind making everything up, even while he was a child in the hospital healing from being tortured, raped, and almost killed. He is on pills given to him by the Dr for the orphanage and is just barely living, as he was not fed well as part of his "treatment".

One day he goes to the kitchen and sees the cook being killed by an angel. Abaddon tells him that he is there to protect him and kill all the bad people. From this meeting, Gabriel learns that all the bad stuff actually happened. Abaddon believes that he was born of the earth to get rid of the cult that was trying to summon a god.

“You are safe now, Gabriel. I’m here to make sure those demons in human skin never hurt you again.” He kept his voice low and steady, just above a whisper to not frighten this lamb further.

“I shall keep you safe. You’re alive because the Almighty has other plans for you, and I am here to carry out his will . So help me God, I will make sure you’re no longer plagued by the shadows who stole your innocence,” Abaddon said and stepped back when the boy stopped struggling.

“I am Abaddon, the Lord of locusts. The Angel of Destruction. I hold the key to the Bottomless Pit.”

“I know what’s been done to you, poor lamb, and I will avenge you.”

Things happen and Abaddon and Gabriel fall in love with each other while killing the bad people. For 80% of the book, they both believe that Abaddon is an angel. Gabriel loves him so much that he decides that he will try penetrative sex, even though he was raped when he was 12 and only knows that it hurts.

Then the big reveal happens.

But yall, they dont quit each other. After what goes down with his mother, Gabriel sees what happened to Abaddon and still cares for him. They both become avenging angels and get their HEA.

I loved that even at the end Abaddon and Gabriel did not suddenly get better mentally. They both still have issues with everything they went through but still love each other.

GR Link